What this is all about...

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Day 16: Ennui

Sigh.  I have a case of ennui...I am having a hard time sitting behind a desk indoors all day.  I've been missing my little guy, wanting to be home cooking and cleaning and taking care of my family.  My job is so slow right now, but somehow more stressful...I love being busy and having things to do.

Aaanyway...not much new to report on the food front.  Tonight I'm hoping to have time to make white beans and kale.  I stopped taking my calcium supplement when I started this, because it's a chewable and has sugar in it (plus tons of food dye, which I try to avoid all the time).  I should get some new supplements, just because I know I'm probably not getting enough calcium or B vitamins, but I have a secret: I can't swallow pills.  Well, I can, but I have a really hard time swallowing any pills, even the smallest ones.  I have a very small gullet, and I have this choking fear (which walks hand-in-hand with my drowning fear, and suffocating fear, and anything that would render me unable to breathe).  I remember when I first became pregnant with my son, and my sinuses freaked out and everything swelled up, and I constantly felt like my throat was closing up on me.  It was a highly unpleasant time, let me tell you.  Anyway, I need to get more dark leafy greens in my diet, hence the kale.

Natural deodorant update: I know you are all waiting to hear how smelly I am.  Well, the answer is: not at all!  As I said before, I don't exert myself much at work, but I've used my Kiss My Face Liquid Rock for working out (I apply it in the morning and don't even reapply before exercising) and I have had great results.  Last night my husband and I were sitting at the rec center and I sniffed my armpit to check on my deodorant's performance.  My husband rolled his eyes at me and said, "You don't have any shame in front of me, do you?"  To which I replied, "Honey, you watched the doctor slice me open and pull out a human being--I'm beyond embarrassment with you."  Right as I said that, this poor guy walked past and, according to my husband, looked totally freaked out by what I was saying.  He probably called everyone he knew to tell them to watch out for the crazy redhead at the gym.

I officially signed up to take the GRE in the fall....and I'll also be starting my first graduate-level class.  I am SCARED, people.  I am so anxious at the thought of trying to balance work, school, home, a young child....and I'm also worried about taking the GRE, because I haven't taken any kind of math in 12 years.  The most math I do is adding and subtracting numbers, and maybe percentages.  I guess I will be spending my lunchtimes doing math review. 

I will try to get some sunshine today to get myself out of my ahn-wee.........farewell!


  1. OK for people like me you need to tell me what Ennui means!!

  2. Amy, Mikey shared your opinion....